Starting preschool is a major milestone that often brings a mix of excitement and nerves for both parents and children. You might be wondering how to make the first day less stressful or what steps you can take to ensure your little one feels secure in a new environment. Recent data from the Department for Education shows that in 2024, 64% of children aged 0 to 4 in England were in formal childcare, highlighting just how common this transition is for UK families.
Preparation is the most effective way to ease separation anxiety and build confidence. By breaking the transition into manageable steps, you can help your child familiarise themselves with new routines before they even step through the door. This 4-week plan focuses on emotional readiness, practical skills, and building a partnership with the staff who will be looking after your child.
Week 1: Creating Familiarity and Positive Associations
The first week is about introducing the idea of preschool in a way that feels safe and fun. Children thrive on predictability, so start by talking about the new adventure ahead.
- Read together: Visit your local library to find picture books about starting nursery or preschool. Seeing characters go through the same experience helps children process their own feelings.
- Drive by the setting: If possible, walk or drive past the preschool. Point out the playground or the colourful windows. Making the physical building a familiar sight reduces the mystery of where they are going.
- Play “Preschool” at home: Use dolls or teddy bears to act out a typical day. Practise saying goodbye, having a snack, and then “Mummy or Daddy coming back” to collect them.
Establishing that preschool is a place where parents always return is vital for emotional security. It sets the foundation for a positive start.
Week 2: Practical Skills and Independence
Preschool involves a certain level of independence that might be new for a child who has been at home. Focusing on these small tasks now will prevent them from feeling overwhelmed later.
Dressing for Success
Practise putting on shoes and coats. Choose clothes with simple fastenings, such as Velcro or elasticated waistbands. This allows your child to feel capable when it is time to go outside and play. Being able to manage their own belongings helps a child feel more in control of their environment.
The Lunchbox Trial
If your child will be taking a packed lunch, have a “living room picnic” using their new lunchbox and water bottle. Check that they can open the lids and unwrap their sandwiches without help. According to the Centre for Young Lives, 68.3% of children in 2024/25 reached a good level of development by the end of their early years, and fostering independence in these small daily tasks is a massive part of that progress.
Week 3: Aligning Routines and Meeting the Team
Consistency between home and preschool makes the change feel less abrupt. Use this week to adjust your home schedule to match the preschool’s snack, lunch, and nap times.
Meeting Your Main Contact
Most high-quality settings use a specific system to ensure every child has a dedicated staff member looking after their well-being. During your settling-in sessions, you will likely be introduced to the nursery key person who will be your primary point of contact.
This person is there to build a strong bond with your child and understand their unique personality. Use this time to share details about your child’s favourite toys, how they like to be comforted, and any specific words they use for things like the toilet or a drink. A strong relationship with this individual ensures your child feels “held in mind” even when you are not there.
Morning Run-Throughs
Start waking up and getting dressed at the time you will need to on an actual preschool day. This prevents a rushed, stressful atmosphere on the first morning. If you plan to use public transport or drive, do a practice run at the actual time you will be travelling to see how the traffic or crowds look.
Week 4: The Final Countdown and the First Day
As the start date approaches, keep your own emotions in check. Children are excellent at picking up on parental anxiety. If you stay calm and upbeat, they are more likely to feel that preschool is a safe, happy place.
The Goodbye Ritual
Decide on a short, consistent goodbye routine. It could be a special “high-five,” a quick cuddle, or a “blow a kiss” through the window. Whatever you choose, keep it brief. Lingering can often make the separation more complicated for the child. It is better to leave while they are engaged in an activity than to wait until they notice you are gone.
Comfort Items
Check if the setting allows a “transitional object” such as a small soft toy or a family photo. Having something that smells like home can provide immense comfort during the first few days. These items act as a physical link to the safety of home while they explore their new surroundings.
What to Expect on Day One
Expect some tears, and remember they are perfectly normal. Most children settle down within minutes of their parents leaving. Your child’s dedicated staff member is trained to provide the comfort needed to help them join in with activities. Trust the process and the professionals who support your family.
Building a Long-Term Partnership
The transition does not end on the first Friday afternoon. It is an ongoing process of communication between your family and the preschool.
Keep sharing updates about what is happening at home. If your child had a poor night’s sleep or there is a big change, such as a new baby or a house move, let the staff know. This information helps them provide the right level of support throughout the day. By working together, you ensure that preschool becomes a place where your child not only stays but truly flourishes.